Pining For Home Sweet Home

Most students experience some level of homesickness – even if they're not far from home.

A recent paper in Pediatrics (Thurber and Walton), the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, defined homesickness as "distress and functional impairment caused by an actual or anticipated separation from home and attachment objects such as parents."   

CNN  reported on the “malady” last week, quoting stars like Twilight's Robert Pattinson as saying he “misses home badly”.

A recent paper in Pediatrics (Thurber and Walton), the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, defined homesickness as "distress and functional impairment caused by an actual or anticipated separation from home and attachment objects such as parents".

Other researchers say that homesickness is not actually about home or sickness, but an emotion that comes in waves. 

Fortunately, it's usually only temporary and students with skills in identifying and managing their emotions are the best equipped to cope.  

Take Hayley, for instance. A good student with a pretty active social life, Hayley was initially excited about her new adventure at a highly respected university 200 miles away from home. So she was more than a little surprised when – just a few weeks into her first semester – she found herself obsessing with thoughts of family, friends, and familiar surroundings back in her hometown.  

"College life was so different than what I was used to," says Hayley. "I was making new friends, but something just didn't feel right."  

At first, Hayley thought simply plunging into her studies would help. With the mountains of schoolwork thrust upon new college students, it's easy to lose oneself in one's studies.  

"I tried spending more time in the library," Hayley says, "and trying to hang out with my roommate and other new friends more often, but I kept making excuses to go home on the weekends."  

While her parents were initially happy to see Hayley more often than they expected, they were also concerned that she didn't seem to be embracing life away from the nest.  

"As much as we loved Hayley's visits," says her mom, Barbara, "we sensed she just wasn't happy being away at school."  

Fortunately, Haley learned some valuable skills and found some great ideas for dealing with homesickness in Thrive's CollegeSuccess program: interactive, online sessions focused on communication, meeting people, relationships, assertiveness, conflict resolution, and other topics that may be unfamiliar to incoming college students help young adults cope with homesickness.

"It helped me to see that I wasn't the only one going through these things," says Hayley. "I was relieved to get some practical tips on stuff that seemed like a big deal."  

Rather than spending so much time shuttling between school and home, Hayley now plans a weekly phone call with her folks while she's gotten more involved with dorm life. As Hayley entered her second semester, homesickness subsided and the real fun of college began.  

"It's always great to go home," says Hayley. "But now I'm enjoying my new home a lot more."

photo courtesy of CNN