“I wish I could help more. I just don’t know what to do.”
This was from the distraught mom of a distressed teen in the documentary Race To Nowhere (see the trailer here).
Subtitled, The Dark Side of America’s Achievement Culture, Vicki Abeles' film profiles parents, students, teachers, and education experts to illuminate how well-intentioned initiatives such as "No Child Left Behind" have changed the culture of educating our kids…not always for the better.
One thing is clear--people are in pain.
You see them every day. Kids trudging to and from school, slumping under the physical and metaphorical weight of their books and expectations to get into a “good“ college. Even ergonomic backpacks and after-school Kumon classes don’t help, leaving many to lose hope and feel like failures.
These were the most heartbreaking kids in the film--the ones who felt worthless because their talents didn’t always translate into high test scores and good grades.
A 9th grader named Kelly summed it up best, “You have to be smart, but also you have to be pretty, and also you have to do sports and you have to be involved in the arts, and you have to find something unique about yourself. And you have to know yourself, because if you don’t know yourself before you do all that, you’re going to lose yourself.”
A therapist in a posh New York suburb expressed frustration over parental denial. She said that every time she stands in a supermarket line and hears parents telling each other how great their kids are doing, she wants to scream, “They’re not ok! They’re in my office, I know the truth!”
Thrive Research Advisor and Stanford University professor Denise Pope was featured prominently in the film, discussing the effects of homework at different developmental levels. She cited several studies showing that more homework doesn’t equal higher grades and test scores. At most developmental levels, some amount of homework is productive, but too much is detrimental.
According to the students in the film, detrimental enough to make them cheat rampantly, sacrifice sleep, or turn to drugs and eating disorders to give them “more energy” to get everything done.
Race to Nowhere will make your heart hurt and your stomach ache, right alongside the teens in the movie. The ending provides partial relief, offering a clear cut, bulleted manifesto about what you can do as a student, parent, coach, teacher, etc.
Walking out of the theater after the discussion though, the conversation among parents mirrored the words to John Mayer’s “Waiting On The World To Change”
It's hard to beat the system
When we're standing at a distance
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
Structural and cultural changes take time. What can parents do now to give their kids some relief?
This is what we’re all about at Thrive Research. Our Stanford-developed programs assess your child and build skills in the six wellness areas that matter most: mood, stress, sleep, nutrition, fitness, and social connections.
These evidence-based programs also teach flexible thinking and self-awareness, making your child more resilient in weathering the ups and downs of school and life.
Our programs are so effective that they have been shown to reduce the risk of depression, sleep and eating disorders by >25% in trials.
Programs take 30-45 minutes/week and are available online, anytime. Parents receive weekly emails and reports, alerting them to potential issues.
Give your child the help they need and give your family some peace of mind. Sign-up for our free, 3-session trial today and help your adolescent learn skills for prevening or coping with depression, anxiety, academic stress, and other mood disorders.
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